Experience from South Lampung

For Researchers

This article is considered an autoethnographic diary.

Though, the article here summarizes only 6-days long experience.

The reason being I turned the employment process down.

Introduction

On the second quarter of 2026, April, I applied to a university for a lecturer position. Things were quite monotonous for me in the school I was working. At least that was what I was thinking.

My dream has always been becoming a lecturer in a university. I was inspired by my parents who are educators. So, I decided to apply for a lecturer position to pursue my dream.

Few months later, on August 2026, I got an interview call with the university. Pretty much the usual job interview session you would get when applying for a job. Long story short, I was accepted and they gave me an offering letter. I had to go to South Lampung to discuss the offering letter. And, yes, the university is located at South Lampung.

Departure

I went to South Lampung by long distance bus with my dad. We departed at night. The whole trip was on toll road, and it was dark along the way, so I have no comment on the trip itself.

We had to take a transit to rest for 30 minutes. We were already close to the harbor. Java and Lampung is on different island so we had to take a ferry to cross the ocean.

It was not my first rodeo into ferry. I had one back in the days when crossing island from Java to Bali. This one was the same. I feel no distinct feeling from my experience of going to Bali (the trip and the ferry, I mean).

Arrival

After a wiggly (approximately) 2 hours 30 minutes trip on the ferry, we arrived at South Lampung. To my surprise, I saw few houses along the way. I mean, there is little to no houses on each side of the road, which left me with an unsettling feeling of worry and anxiety.

EGTags

Emotional Geography Tags

Trigger: Environment: Scarce of visible population

Emotional Mapping: Worry, Anxiety

We didn’t drop by at our accommodation because the bus driver said that our destination was not on the bus’ route. Our destination was on Jl. Trans Sumatera and the bus had to go to the toll road. We dropped at nearest convenience store and rested for a while.

After taking some rest, we had to go to our destination but somehow I didn’t see any public transportation there. My dad asked me to use online driver service, a car, to be precise, because we had many luggages to carry.

I downloaded several online driver applications on my phone and tried all of them one by one to improve the chance of us getting picked up by a driver. We waited for a solid 30 minutes and no driver was available in the area.

EGTags

Emotional Geography Tags

Trigger: Public Transportation: Almost non-existent

Emotional Mapping: Stressed, Frustrated, Worry

After failing some searches, some locals greeted us and we had some small talks. They asked where we were going with such many luggages. We told them our destination, our purpose, and our worries. Some of them offered a drive.

One of them who offered the help was a truck driver. He offered us a drive to us, but we hesitated. First, we were strangers, we couldn’t afford the risks of being kidnapped, considering that the surrounding environment has scarce population. We couldn’t ask for help if the worst scenario had to happen. Second, we had big luggages and the truck seemed to be fully loaded. We couldn’t possibly load more luggages (and ours were heavy and bulky).

Another local offered a motorcycle ride to take us to the destination. This, of course, was far from a good idea. I mean, we had many big luggages, all of which were heavy that it would take two grown and healthy men to take care one of the luggage. We immediately turned the offer down.

Then another one offered to call for a “travel” car. It’s a kind of (not so) public transportation mode. For context, in Indonesia, each kind of land vehicle has different plate color. Public transportation is yellow, newly bought vehicle is white background with red text, personal vehicle is white with black text, and official/government vehicle is red with white text. The “travel” car in question has black plate (which is the outdated version of personal vehicle plate color). They are considered illegal for some reasons but I will not go into greater details here. We had no choice back then so we had to accept the offer.

Along the way to our destination, we saw very little number of houses. It was as if we dropped into a very remote location. Well, in fact, it was a remote location, despite being close (in proximity) to the capital of Indonesia. Witnessing very little signs of civilization made my worries only grew larger.

EGTags

Emotional Geography Tags

Trigger: Public Transportation: Almost non-existent

Trigger: Civilization: Remote

Emotional Mapping: Stressed, Anxious, Worry

Daily Life

We spend about 6 days in South Lampung with worries. First, public transportation. We saw around 5 to 6 cars going from Kalianda to Bakauheni direction. But they were only operating early in the morning, around 6 AM. The rest of the time, from 6AM to 5 PM, there were no public transportation. At 5 PM, the cars’ route change backwards, from Bakauheni to Kalianda.

I am suffering from Stargardt disease and is forbidden to drive a vehicle at any cost. The risks are too high and may cause death if I insist on driving with this disease. That is why I was looking for public transportation.

EGTags

Emotional Geography Tags

Trigger: Public Transportation: Almost non-existent

Trigger: Medical Condition: Stargardt

Emotional Mapping: Stressed, Anxious, Worry

Second, scarce and minimal variation of foods. Since civilization was scarce there, people who sell foods was also limited. I’m talking about family restaurant. We couldn’t cook for ourselves because we don’t have the equipment. There were only one family restaurant that is near to my apartment, Rumah Makan Padang. Eating the same menu for days only made my anxiety and worry grew even larger, let along imagining it for weeks, months, or even years. My world would be a colorless world and I don’t want it to happen. Besides, I had to regulate what I eat. I needed to consume fibers, proteins, calories, and water and yet non of them is aligned with my diet plan. Speaking of which, access to drinkable water is also rare. We could only buy bottled mineral water, in which we had to buy it from the “nearest” convenience store that is around 2 kilometers away.

EGTags

Emotional Geography Tags

Trigger: Civilization: Remote

Trigger: Food access: Rare

Trigger: Drinkable water access: Rare

Emotional Mapping: Stressed, Helpless

Third, we went to South Lampung to discuss for my employment to be an English Lecturer at a private university. However, when I looked up the publicly available database about the students and the lecturers of the department, I grew even worried. There has been no students for the past 5 years in the corresponding department. My dad and I had a discussion about this situation. Our conclusion was rather inclined to be negative. So, I triangulated this conclusion with the lecturers and staffs in the university. Turned out, there were a few lecturers whose educational background was from English Language Education but they were appointed to be a home base lecturer at a different department but still in the scope of educational sciences field. Projecting ahead, this is problematic because the rule and system will not approve the teaching hours credit of those lecturers because they teach something that is not relevant to their educational background. They wouldn’t be able to get a promotion because of that. More and more things added to the worries and anxieties jars. Soon, it overflowed.

EGTags

Emotional Geography Tags

Trigger: Company situation: Unclear

Emotional Mapping: Worry

Fourth, I was given some tasks to “rejuvenate” the department which I was going to be stationed. Thus, I was planned to be given a title “The Head of Department”. Quite the high job position, if you ask me. Even so, somehow it didn’t excite me at all. What I felt was more and more anxiety from the responsibilities and expectations. Additionally, the director of the university gave me work even before I signed the work contract. I once slacked off a bit from the tasks but it was because I had to prepare for my departure. When I slacked off a bit, the director grew mad at me because I didn’t complete the task at the given deadline. After that, I was having a lot of considerations. I collected some information from the inside and my family. Again, the conclusion was nothing near positive.

EGTags

Emotional Geography Tags

Trigger: Work hours: Outside

Trigger: Managerial position: Head

Emotional Mapping: Stressed, Frustrated

The Decision

After careful considerations over the past few days, I came to a conclusion that I didn’t continue the employment process. The reason is highly tied to my medical condition given the current situation of the university. My medical condition is too risky.

My dad and I went home again.

Reflection

This is perhaps the biggest turning point of my life. Ever.

First, the main problem was the responsibility. I was offered a managerial position in the university but I had to do socialization, promotion, and all of the work that require high mobility and flexibility. With my current medical condition (Stargardt), I am practically or even legally blind.

I was also thinking about the fate of my life. My train of thought started from the moment I decided to become a lecturer. I was still on senior high school when I dreamt about that.

I got accepted to enroll to state university without any academic test (the system name was SNMPTN, short of Seleksi Nasional Masuk Perguruan Tinggi Negeri). My first choice option was Information Technology and the second was English Language Education. My first choice was rejected but the second option was accepted.

Then, fast forward to the moment I was diagnosed with Stargardt on 2023 when I was writing my master’s degree thesis. I was thinking,

• “maybe this is fate from the God Almighty”
• “maybe this is why fate brought me to English Language Education”
• “maybe this is a sign/revelation that I shouldn’t be far away from home, given the medical condition I’m in”

But that doesn’t make me loathe or hate the fate that I was bestowed upon. Inversely, I was grateful for what I am right now. I’m grateful that I went to English Language Education and that I was diagnosed with this disease of mine. Those life decisions that I made until now is the ones that shaped me. I am able to use metacognitive skills at all times from my studies in English Language Education. This writing proves it. I wouldn’t be able to write this long if I had no metacognitive skills, Stargardt disease, and studies in English Language.

Future Outlook

I’m looking forward to spend my time close to home. I have a life route that has a high chance of success. What I mean by success is more of a work-life balance. Also, I’m looking forward to be able to learn all sorts of sciences and study fields. I love learning computer science and engineering in general.